Saturday, November 10, 2012

The Nurse is Now a Patient....


I close my eyes, oh God I think I'm falling, 
Out of the sky, I close my eyes, 

Heaven help me....

("Like a Prayer", Madonna)
(Sorry Peaches is so rude as to yawn in your face in the above picture.  She doesn't seem concerned that I practically dropped the colander right on her head---oops.)

Well anyway, I went to the surgeon.  And after she examined my poor left boob, she referred me over to Johnson County Imaging Center to get a boob ultrasound.  Fun, fun, fun.  

So, after calling Blaine to let him know where I was, I underwent the ultrasound.  Lord that hurt.  She totally SQASHED my boob with that damn wand doo-hicky.  After she was done she went to give the report to the radiologist doctor.  And he came into the room.  The first thing he said was:  "Don't be afraid that I came out to talk to you..."

And I immediately became afraid, of course.  I've had imaging done there before and the radiologist didn't come into the room to talk to me.

He said that "it doesn't look like cancer---but we need to get an MRI."

Lovely.  So I left the imaging center after they gave me a CD with a copy of my ultrasound on it.  I am completely puzzled as to why they'd give me a CD with my ultrasound on there.  What the hell?  Am I supposed to go home and play it on my CD player?  Did they put some nice background music on there?


So where it stands is that they are going to send the ultrasound report to my surgeon.  And then I have to go back and see the surgeon in two weeks unless they call me in sooner.  And at some point I'm going to get an MRI.

Do you know what?  I want to apologize to every single patient I ever had in my 22 year nursing career.  I didn't realize what a frightening thing it is to be a patient and have to trudge through the medical system to get whatever is wrong with you treated.  I should have had more empathy for my patients.  Because now that I'm on the other end of things, it stinks.  It's awful.  And it's terrifying.

So I wait.  I was told "not to worry"---and they kept telling me they didn't think it was cancer.  Okay, if it doesn't look like cancer then why order a damn MRI????  

Sigh.  Here are my buddies---they will wait with me.  Lu-Lu declined being in any pic---she was grumpy this morning. 

And here is my progress on Zariski.  I'm knitting down the second sleeve.  I'm anxious to get to the squares portion of the pattern.

And the wait begins....


  1. Oh, Susie, I was thinking of you yesterday!!
    i hate the wait! When I had a recall on my mammo this year, that was the hardest time. Turned out it was just a bad view!A second mammo cleared me, but I totally feel for you.
    And I am also wondering why you were blessed with your CD, I am in possession of the Cd of my MRI after my stroke, like my computer could read their program anyway!!!
    Knit away and keep us informed!!!

    1. Thank you so much, Mary! I will definitely keep you informed!

  2. I too just completed the waiting and worryinhg for a blood disorder. This is when faith and prayers are so important and mine are with you. A few hugs from loved ones helps too!

  3. Hi Sueb! Thank you---and I'll keep you in my prayers too!

  4. The MRI will give them a clearer picture of what it actually is and how to remove it.

    Several years ago when my oldest was but a wee toddler, I had to go have an MRI done on my lungs because of a spot that kept showing up on the X-ray. I've never smoked, but my husband did at the time (only outside and not around me) and I had no history of lung cancer in my family. Turns out, when I'd had walking pneumonia about a year earlier I'd broken a rib during a coughing fit.

    I will be keeping you in my thoughts!


  5. I think the fact that you do know more about these things can cause more fear for you when you are actually involved. I hope it all turns out to be benign for you! I will keep you in my thoughts & prayers!

    1. Thank you, Cindy! I think you're right--I have just enough medical knowledge to keep me very worried. The doctor said he didn't think the main growths were cancerous---but then he added that he wanted the MRI to make sure there was nothing cancerous behind them....aaaargh.