I am so mad at Lu-Lu that I could drop-kick her over the nearest Superbowl goal post!!!!!
I don't care how innocent she looks. That little hellion found and destroyed my best and most beloved hair barrette. I loved that barrette---I stroked it often and took care of it tenderly.
And that little shit totally trashed it.
Its remnants are shown here, tattered and torn, after I found it lying forlornly on the dining room floor like yesterday's trash. In its glory it was a nearly 6" long bundle of beautiful black feathers with that little white feather at the top to set off the black ones. You could clip it to nearly anywhere in your hair.
It was a thing of loveliness. And to see it torn asunder breaks my heart. I always wore red lipstick with it to set it off. And I would wear it in a fashion that would cause it to frame that side of my face, on which I had applied smoky black eye shadow in a rather dramatic fashion. Whenever I wore it I think I was subconsciously going for the "Black Swan" movie look....
Yes, yes, okay, okay---don't laugh, but I will admit here that I've always loved ballerina movies and.... well... so I did kinda want to look.... kind of like a swan ballerina in "Swan Lake" or Nina in "The Black Swan" ....
I mean, I have never had such a beautiful barrette before. This one always caught peoples' eyes, and girls would always ask me where I bought it and would never believe me when I told them that I truly can't remember---probably in the bohemian side of town in some hide-a-way boutique.
In middle school, if I were ever in the "Truth or Dare" game, I would always take "Truth" and tell everybody that I secretly imagined myself a ballerina in "Swan Lake". Of course I would always be heavily ridiculed for such a lofty admission.
(Before that, whenever in "Truth or Dare", I always said that I had a crush on my Chemistry teacher---which was a safe "Truth" in that every adolescent female in that school had a crush on the Chemistry teacher---so the ridicule was a lot less evil in nature.)
Where was I?
Oh yes, my beautiful feather barrette that Lu-Lu destroyed. And yes, I do definitely know that she was the culprit because she had a black feather remnant on her mouth this morning.
So, folks, today let's imagine something. All of us....together. Please imagine with me the first touchdown in the Superbowl.....
And when that first extra point is attempted, imagine that it's Lu-Lu, instead of a football, getting her just desserts. (And she's about the size of a football, anyway.)